August 8, 2008

Can people really be this clueless?

People never cease to amaze (and amuse) me. Evolution and survival of the fittest? Sometimes people make it through that natural selection. Here's an actual phone conversation I had last night:

Nurse Lochia (NL): "Hi, this Nurse Lochia, can I help you?"

Grandma to be(GTB): "Yeah, I know you guys can't really give out too much advice, but my 18 year old daughter is 3 months pregnant and she's constipated. She can't have a bowel movement, actually she had a bowel movement but it won't come out. What do I do and can I give her any medication tohelp"

NL: "What do you mean, won't come out? She feels the need to go, but can't?"

GTB: "She had a bowel movement and it won't come all the way out. The turd is halfway out of her butt but she can't get it out and she's still on the toilet".

NL (speechless): "Um, yeah, okay, I can't tell you what medications she can take, so I'd just call
the office in the a.m. and ask.

GTB "But what does she do in the meantime with the turd hanging out?"

NL: "Um, have her take toilet paper and wipe/pull it out? I'm sorry but that's the only advice I can tell you".

GTB: "Okay, thank you." click.

I can honestly say I sat there in a state of shock. I mean, really, who sits on the toilet, when they're 18 years old, with stool hanging out of their butt, tells their mother she can't get it to drop, and so her mom calls the labor and deliver department?


Jessica said...

Uh, yeah...

18 year common sense.
Common sense...meed 18 year old.

Sometimes I really wonder about people. LOL!

AtYourCervix said...

Probably the same pregnant girl who wants to know if she can get pregnant again, when she's already pregnant.

Actual phone call - no lie!

May said...

Somewhere, Charles Darwin is sobbing in anguish.

Crystal said...

With all that rampant stupidity running amok, I believe I would have instructed her to make sure the, uh, turd didn't have little fingers and a heartbeat. Girl is probably 9 months pregnant if she's that much of a twit.

The Triage Queen said...

And where is the G-mas common sense???

AtYourCervix said...

Oh oh oh! Then there is the girl (young one, serious!) who put her fingers in her vagina, and *gasp* felt her baby's head! So she RUSHED to L&D. Don't know what she really felt though. Probably her cervix, if she reached that far in. Needless to say, she is a very regular customer on L&D. Sometimes 2-3 times in one shift!

Prisca: said...

WOW-I needed taht laugh, thanks.

Some people blow my mind!

Jaimie said...

If your hospital is anything like mine, she probably called the ED first and they transfered the call to you. They of course were laughing their heads off.

Dragonfly said...

Who would do this? Patients I have seen, thats for sure.
I have heard OBGYNs complain about the number of normal menstrual periods that get referred to them through ED as well...

Misty said...

I am so glad I found you blog! I needed that laugh! That is hilarious! write really well!