Now before I begin this post I just want to say this: I know I did this to myself. I was given a choice and I chose this. I had all the facts and still caved when given the choice. And I knew I'd end up feeling like this.
Okay, I'm regretting I had a c-section this time. I know, I know, I was given the choice. I don't regret meeting Isaiah that day, or that I had him home for Christmas and all of that. But I wish I hadn't caved in when they said "he's head down. We can go ahead with the c-section, or you can go home and wait for labor". That's what I should have done and had planned on doing. But I'm like a lot of pregnant women: given the opportunity to end the pregnancy and meet the baby is hard as hell to reisist. Especially since he'd been breech for a while and everyone was expecting him Dec. 20. I had been wanting to VBAC until he had been breech for so long, then I got used to the idea of a repeat c-section. I'm not mourning the loss of a vaginal birth. I'm just having a hell of a time recovering. I know you forget some things from one birth to the next, but I'm positive I didn't feel like this after Clara was born. I had started working out and wearing jeans at this point. That won't be happening this time. This time has been significantly more painful than the last, all around. From the beginning with intense itching, to the gas pain, uterine infection, incisional pain etc. And now, almost 6 weeks post-cs, I'm still pretty sore. This weekend, I started having incisional pain that felt like it did at 1 week post-cs. It hurts just to turn over in bed and get up from a chair (that hadn't been happening lately) The cramping had ceased, but now has returned the last few days. And I have several sore, hard areas under my incision and this morning the painful area around the incision has gotten bigger. It hadn't been too bad, just about an 1 inch above the incision was sore. Now it's about 3 inches above the incision that is sore and the area directly above it is very sore. I don't think that anything is wrong. I just think I'm more uncomfortable because I've had 3 babies, all the pulling on the skin/muscle to get the baby out traumatized the tissue and because I had scar tissue there from my previous section. Maybe the hard spots are adhesions, but I really dont know. I get several hits from people looking into VBAC and I guess my point is this: Go for the VBAC! Especially if you have delivered vaginally before. Deal with another week or 2 of being uncomfortable pregnant to avoid weeks of being uncomfortable afterward while you recover from surgery. It's easier to recover from a natural process than surgery (I know there are some exceptions). I guess I'm telling myself "I told you so". I'll end on a positive note with a picture of Isaiah: