Tonight is my first full weekend back at work. I'm really hoping it is a bit better than Monday night. I think it will be. It's only been a bit more than a week, and things are slowly getting better. I still have moments, but not so many. I've checked out every resource people have suggested, and it's been very helpful just hearing from people who have gone through the same thing. The only thing no one has had is a negative urine pregnancy test before any of the pregnancy was passed like I did. Yesterday was a bit of a low day, and we had friends over to cook out. I just really wasn't in the mood to socialize, but it was fun anyway. The kids had a blast, getting to stay up later than they normally do and running around. We even got our little fire pit going and watched the fire for awhile. Not sure why that's fun, but it's relaxing and mesmerizing sitting around a fire.
Physically, I think things are pretty normal from what I've read about. I've been running again which feels good. Running has always been a way for me to relieve stress. I spotted for about 4 days post D&C, then nothing. I was really hoping that would be the end, but I started spotting again yesterday. It's quite obnoxious. I was also pretty crampy and felt like I do right before AF comes yesterday, but I know it's way too early for that. I am hoping that my cycles come back sooner rather than later, partially so I can feel normal again. I've read in many different places about how long you should wait after a m/c and D&C to try again, and I'm hoping my doc doesn't suggest waiting too long. I know it could be awhile before I even have a period again, but we are hoping to try again soon. I do plan on running more races and had hoped to go ahead and try to do a 10K, 15K or even a half marathon before it starts getting cold in November, but, of course, there aren't any that I can get to: they are all on Sundays. So, I may just try to increase my mileage on my own because once I get pregnant again (I'm being positive that our fertility hasn't been affected) I will not be running. I know that the running didn't have anything to do with it, but I just couldn't take the guilt if it happens again. I'll walk and do lower impact activities to stay in shape, and I'll just resume running afterwards. I know in the whole scheme of life, 3 months isn't a long time (it seems the recommended time to wait is either 1 cycle or 3 cycles) but right now it seems like a lifetime to wait.
Emotionally, it's still pretty hard at times. It's frequently on my mind, but it's getting better. I hadn't been able to actually eat a full meal until last night. Sleep is still a bit hard because when it's quiet, that's when my mind kicks into gear, but it didn't keep me up last night. I couldn't sleep because it was just that temperature where if you don't cover up, you are cold, but if you do then you wake up sweating. I've never had it to that degree, but I swear I'd be freezing and could cover up and then wake up in a cold sweat later. Niffer sent me this link. I actually have the book it's from. I tried to find the book last week because I remembered there was a touching story about "Spirit Babies" in there, but I couldn't find it or remember the story exactly. So I thought I'd repost the link so everyone can enjoy.