On-call

Tonight, instead of working my usual Saturday night shift, I'm home on call. As a weekend-option person, they can't put me on call when the census is low unless I want it. I decided to take it because 1.) Husband had said the baby was fussy and 2) I need a break. After I got home tonight, I was telling husband about the bad dream I had during my nap today. After I was done he said "Man, you need a vacation, not a maternity leave like you've had, but some real time off". And he's right. Basically, all the things I worry about too much made their way into this dream. I come from a long line of worriers, so it comes naturally. Serious worries like money, work, as well as tiny things, like the fact my husband wants to cut down a big tree by our deck and I don't want him to wove together into one moster of a nightmare. Worst part of the dream basically was work related. Long story short: I dreamed my labor patient had a decel while I was gone, they took her back for a c/s without getting me out of the other room, she threw a PE and when they tried to intubate her, her head ripped open and she died. And all of this was my fault because I forgot to check her temp every 2 hours because her water had broken. Crazy, huh? And doesn't make a whole lot of sense. So an extra night away will do me some good. After that crazy stuff going on in my subconscious, I've decided I need to cut myself some slack, get more sleep, need to find a way to relieve stress and I need a vacation. Vacation is covered in August, when I took the weekend off before Jacob starts kindergarten. And I need to exercise more, whether I run or walk. Running was always my stress reliever in the past. My left knee has been achy during weather changes, so I may just stick to walking for now. That will help my stress. And I know I need to give myself a break and get more sleep, but those will be harder to accomplish. I'll get my groove back soon enough ;)