Random Thoughts

* I'm still in mourning over the loss of my breastmilk stores. But, I'm hopeful as I've been really "pumping it up" over the last few days and I did the best I could to nurse Isaiah every hour or so, with pumping after at least 2 feedings. I've also been eating oatmeal, because I heard that it supposedly helps increase supply. (although I'm not sure it's really making a difference) It's been a lot of work, but it'll be worth it. Plus I should eat more fiber anyway. We did finally buy a highchair and cereal, so we'll be ready in a couple weeks. When I found this highchair, I was really excited (yes, I know, its a highchair) but we had the traditional ones with the other 2, and they took up so much room. This fits perfectly on our dining table chairs. I can hardly wait to try it out. Just a another 1-3 weeks, though.

* The fashion show was last night and it didn't go too bad at all. The kids were rowdy, but there were plenty other kids there. It was also nice to see co-workers and some of the docs outside of the hospital. The kids didn't spill anything on their outfits, they didn't fuss and they actually walked the cat walk and behaved. I was impressed. One funny thing did happen: one of the doctors was in it with his wife and 4 boys. One of those boys ran up to husband, and grabbed husbands "stuff"! Husband was quite surprised and the kid thought it was hilarious. I sure hope that's not a boy thing!

* The bug guy sprayed for bugs, thank goodness, and not a moment too soon. Two hours before he came, I spotted the biggest spider I've ever seen outside of a biology lab. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

* My sister is moving another 1 1/2 hours away this weekend. Husband is going up to help tomorrow. I can't go because, one, I have to work at 7pm, and two, the kids would be in the way. She starts her intern year in July. She'll only be about 4 hours away, but we won't get to hang out like we used to. I realized the last time she was down, that that will probably be the last time for a very long time that she's able to come down and hang out like that. But, we thought the same about med school, and she was down quite a bit. But, we'll see. It does give me an excuse to spend a couple days up there, a kind of mini-vacation. The kids and I are going up in a few weeks to check things out, and so they can break in her new place.

* Work last night was SOOOO boring. Not that I'm complaining. I guess I am. I discharged 2 patients before midnight, and that left labor empty! Can you believe that?! And no one came in before I left. I spent the whole night helping out with fussy babies in the nursery. Man, it was so slow. I kept hoping a patient would come in so I'd have something to do. There never seems to be a happy medium: you're either dead slow or crazy busy.

Lost liquid gold

Yesterday when I went down into the basement to pull some frozen breastmilk out, I was greeted with a horrible scene. We have a small freezer in the basement where I keep my supply of frozen bmilk, and extra meat. I opened the door and apparently the freezer was overloaded with frost and it wasn't working. Almost my entire frozen breastmilk supply was thawed. There were a few bags that were still frozen, covered under a big chunk of ice that had fallen, but 15-20 bags were cold, but thawed. I was/am devastated. I've actually been trying to increase my frozen supply over the last few weeks, and this just really sucked. I seriously cried. I know that it's not the end of the world, but I had this goal of exclusively breastfeeding Isaiah until 6 months, and then starting solid food. And I never wanted to have to give him formula. But I don't think that going to happen now. I can only pump so much at work, and sometimes its hard to pump at all when it's super busy. That stuff is liquid gold! I'm going to try to pump after he eats each time while I'm off, and I got up and pumped today a couple times. I had husband give him bottles throughout the day to try and use at least some of the breastmilk before it isn't good anymore. I'm feeling better about it today, but yesterday I was crushed.

On top of losing my frozen supply, worked sucked the big one. I spent the first 4 hours in the nursery. Not taking care of the healthy babes or as just an extra set of hands, but taking care of sick babies. I'm a labor nurse, not a nursery nurse. I told them I wasn't really comfortable being completely responsible for the sick babies. There wasn't anything too horribly wrong with them, but it isn't my area of expertise. Luckily, they got another nursery nurse to come in after 4 hours. So I got to go back to labor. Thank you God! But trouble continued. I had a patient that was preterm that thought she was contracting, but after she arrived at the hospital, she said it had stopped. But I still had to call the doc for orders. The dude on call didn't answer his phone. I tried multiple times, called all the numbers we had. No response. Tried the patients regular doc, no answer. Tried the partners. No response. It's a holiday weekend so I'm sure they were out of town. Plus they weren't on call. So, up the chain of command we went, to no avail. I did finally get orders from a doc who doesn't even cover for that group. The on call doc finally called back 3 hours later. Completely unacceptable. What if it had been an emergency!? Anyway, I'm hoping tonight is going to be better.

A few pics

Isaiah at 4 months

Here are my Dad, my sister after officially becoming an MD, and my Mom. I think the last time I saw my Dad this dressed up was when I got married!



Clara and Isaiah

Jacob at his pre-k graduation. Nothing is much cuter than a bunch of 4 and 5 year olds in mortar board caps and graduation gowns!
Isaiah in the bath today. The water spraying is the kitchen sink sprayer, not him peeing supercharged! He's getting better at sitting up lately with some support.

Time for the Bug Man

It's time to call the bug man. Okay, we live in an old house with a basement. With old houses and basements (probably new houses, too) there come bugs in the spring. I figure since our house has been standing for over 100 years, there are bug families that have set up colonies from many generations back. I do okay with little bugs, I don't like them, but can handle them. We had earwigs at the last house we lived in and I hated those damn things. Ants are gross, I don't really like those damn orange beetles that fly all over and smell if you irritate them, but I can deal with that. It's the big ones that get me. Last year, right before we called an exterminator for ants and little spiders, I woke up to make a midnight bathroom run to see a huge black cockroach in the hallway. Upstairs of all places. I can't stand the sound of crunching bugs, so I tried to put a cup over it. I missed and it chased me. Seriously, it came at me, didn't run away, but came right towards me. I screeched, it ran into Clara's closet. Husband took care of it the next a.m. And the wonderful bug man came and we didn't' have bugs anymore. Maybe a tiny spider, or two. But no more bugs. This a.m., I come home, go into the bathroom, do my thing, and notice this huge bug with big old long legs staring at me. I swear it was probably a square inch. I, again, screamed. I finally got out of the bathroom, and decided I'd drop a book on it to kill it. I thought I heard a small crunch, which grossed me out, so I moved the book. And it jumped at me. Not just once, but 5 times!!! And now it's lost somewhere in the kids toy room. I'm the big giant that could squash it if I had the balls! And it chases me! Somethings not right here. So, I think it's time for my favorite guy this time of year to come visit me. I'll show that damn bug who's boss!

Random thoughts

I realized that I've not posted a whole lot of L&D stories... I guess I've had pretty normal patients lately. I also have updated pics of the all the kids that I plan on posting sometime in the near future. Lately I've been more wrapped up in the lack of sleep I've been getting than anything else.
Today I was reading the paper and ever since I worked in a nursing home as a CNA, I always scan the obits. I noticed today an obituary of a baby girl born in March. I took care of mom while she was in labor and she actually delivered for me. There wasn't anything wrong with baby right after birth and she went home on time as far as I can remember. One of the reasons I remember her is her last name. I worked in a H.S. while in nursing school and she was a senior when I started working there. She has 2 other children. I just wonder what happened. SIDS? I'll never know, but my heart goes out to her and her family. I also found out that another patient who lived in OB for several weeks due to a previa with her 3rd child recently found out she was pregnant with her 4th baby. What really sucks is her husband was killed in a car accident recently. She is a SAHM, her husband is gone. Her oldest child I think is about 6? It just doesn't seem fair. There will only be very few memories of the dad for the oldest, maybe the second oldest will have a vague memory, but the youngest (1 year) and the new baby won't have any memories at all of their father. Just very sad. I just pray that these moms have the strength and faith they need.

On a more positive note, Isaiah seems to be back to sleeping all night. What I think the problem was was fenugreek. I had started taking that because it was recommended to increase milk supply. I just wanted to have more milk stored in the freezer. But, a rare side effect is abdominal discomfort and pain in the baby. I've since stopped taking it, but I think maybe that was the issue Saturday night. But who knows. I will say the that the fenugreek did in fact increase my supply. The strange thing about it: it really does make your sweat and urine smell like maple syrup! So very weird. Anyway, I think Isaiah may finally be ready for bed, so I'm off.

Mr. Sandman found

Things are much happier here in my house. Even though I was on the verge of strangling my dear, loving husband, the whole coming home early turned into a blessing, of sorts. I finally laid down about 4a.m.ish and slept on the couch until the other kids came down for breakfast. Husband knew how mad I was because instead of saying things and not letting it go like I usually do, I was silent, so he kept the house clean and very nice and attentive. I doubt that it happens again. After talking with Jacob and Clara for awhile and then feeding Isaiah, I went to be at about 8:30. And I slept. In my bed with my beautiful pillows, and without a baby in the crook of my arm and one of the "ladies" hanging out. It was absolute heaven. I did feed Isaiah throughout the day, but that doesn't take too long, plus I barely have to wake up to do that. It's amazing how great I feel after getting probably a good 10 hours of sleep. I needed it. And last night Isaiah fell asleep at 8:00pm and slept until a.m. I've been toying with the idea of starting him on rice cereal. I really wanted to wait until he is 6 months, but he seems so ready to start eating. The other two never really seemed interested in food, but he watches us eat and is easily distracted when he's nursing. So we'll see. Maybe it will help him sleep a bit better. But I'll be sad, I can't explain why exactly, but I will if we start giving him cereal before 6 months. I guess it's just a thing with me.

Work last night was actually very, very slow. I was working post-partum and my two patients were day 2 moms, and didn't need me to do anything. They both breastfed their babies, took pain meds infrequently, and never really needed anything. It made for a long 12 hour shift, though. One of the moms, though, had her husband there overnight, and he was kind of a pain in the ass. He slept the entire time, never got up to change a diaper, he snored and kept mom awake, and kept passing noxious gas in his sleep. To top it off, he got up at one point, used the bathroom. The bathroom in that particular room is right next to the door to the hallway. Man, the nasty odor that wafted into the hallway was overwhelming. Luckily, we were dead slow and no one had to walk past that room, except me. The mom was about ready to kill him I think. I have mixed feelings about dads staying overnight. If they are helpful, and don't sleep through everything and mom wants them there, that's one thing. It's nice to see them supporting their new family and being involved. But frequently I see more of the sort that sleep through everything and aren't much support at all. I sent husband home with our kids. I was breastfeeding and felt like it would be better if he was rested up so he would be more help once I came home. I did make him stay the first night after Clara, because we were waiting to hear her test/echo results and see what the pediatric cardiologist had to say. But, I did know all the staff, so I guess that may have made a difference. :) Anyway, I'm off to bed for hopefully another great sleep.

The trouble with men

So it's 2:00 a.m. on a Saturday night and I'm here at my home computer. You may be asking yourself "Why, Nurse Lochia, are you typing a new post and not at work? Don't you work every Saturday and Sunday night for premium pay as a labor nurse?" Very good question, very good question indeed. The answer, my dear readers, is because the baby was screaming. Yep, screaming. Long story short, I left work because husband thought that something was wrong with Isaiah and he needed to go to the ER because he wouldn't quit screaming. And husband is "Soooo freaking tired". Yeah, that makes 2 of us, except he gets to sleep every night and the nights I'm here, I get up with the baby. But, I acknowledge he probably is tired. And never mind when I had my own little break down Friday because of my severe lack of sleep, he offered to get up with Isaiah. But when Isaiah did wake up, husband did not. And I could not arouse him. So I got up and was up from 3:00 a.m. on after only getting him to sleep since 12:30 while husband slumbered since 10:30. I do love my husband dearly, but man he can irk me. But anyway, I left work, wondering if husband was just freaking out or if there was something really wrong. Leaning toward something wrong because, really, Isaiah isn't fussy, just wants to be held. Keep in mind, too, that I've called husband before to come home from his work and he won't. So I walk in the door and guess what I hear? Silence. Dead Silence. And they are both sleeping on the couch. I take the baby, look him over to make sure there's nothing obviously wrong, which there is not, and he promptly falls right back asleep. I sent husband to bed because I'm not missing out on my full day of sleep later today because he had a freak out. I've seriously averaged 3 hours of sleep every 24 hours for the last week. I'm tired. More like exhausted. And now I'm irritated. But, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I feel better and I think I'll go to bed after I call my co-workers to let them know Isaiah is just fine.

Mr. Sandman, where are you????

When I first started working nights, I worried that I wasn't going to be able to sleep during the day. Turned out that I actually did just fine. I could sleep during the day and sleep at night. And it didn't screw me up too much. Since I've started working again after maternity leave, I haven't been sleeping well at all. Some could be attributed to Isaiah, but most of it isn't. Sure, he gets up in the night here and there, and the other two are up by 6:30 or 7:00. Night sleeping really isn't the problem either. Its trying to sleep after my shift. I don't drink caffeine right before bed, and I don't have a problem falling asleep. I just can't stay asleep. Usually, I lay down by 8:30 a.m. That damn noon siren this town that I used to sleep through wakes me up just about every day. And if I do sleep through it, I still wake up about 1:00, feeling like I slept all day, then I see to clock, and think "Damn." Because if you wake up after a couple hours of sleep and think you've slept all night/day long, there's no hope for getting back to sleep for long. And that's what happens. So frustrating. This past weekend, I got very little sleep. I might have gotten decent sleep Wednesday, up all day Thursday, worked Thurs. night, slept for 4-5 hours Friday, took my sister out Friday night so I didn't get to bed until 1:30 a.m., Isaiah woke up at 5:30, got a 2 hour nap Sat afternoon, worked all night Saturday, only got 5 hours Sunday, worked again, and only got 3 hours Monday. So not much sleep at all. And it taking it's toll. I'm more forgetful. I'm more irritable, and short with the kids. I've always tended to have darkness under my eyes and its much worse now. I'm having migraines with auras due to lack of sleep. My eyes get bloodshot when I'm at work, although part of it is the dry air in the hospital. And other people notice. It's quite irritating but my co-workers often say "Man, you look tired. Are you going to get to sleep today?" Thanks, guys, thanks. Glad to know I look like crap. I know they don't mean anything by it, but seriously, why do people tell you that you look tired? There's no way it could be taken as a compliment. My husband isn't' exactly sympathetic either. His advice? Get off nightshift, as if its that easy. (He tends to forget the HUGE cut in pay I'd take. Plus I think it's more because I'd be here in the a.m. to help get the kids to daycare.) I'm kind of at a loss of what to do. I don't want to have to start taking something to help me sleep, but it's getting to that point. I could take Benadryl, but it could decrease my milk supply, and I adamantly want Isaiah exclusively breastfed until 6 months. I'll figure something out. But if you see a frazzled looking nurse with bloodshot eyes and dark circles underneath, carrying a breastpump, don't tell her she looks tired. She's libel to attack. :)

Work related stress

This past weekend at work was pretty quiet patient-wise, but stressful for me. First, I was extremely tired. I haven't been sleeping well at all, and not just because of the baby. I fall asleep just fine, but can't stay asleep long, and can't get back to sleep after I wake up. But that's another post. I was also charge RN this weekend, something I would prefer not to do, but I fill in when the other charge nurses are off. Saturday, we needed to transfer a 25 week ruptured patient to a higher level hospital with a NICU (level 3, we're a level 2). Of course its storming, so the helicopter won't fly for obvious reasons, but it takes about 45 minutes by ambulance. So we've got a multip, SROM, 25 weeks, and we're going to have to take her by ambulance. Luckily we got her stable enough to transfer, but I had to send a nurse with them. Sunday wouldn't have been too bad if it wasn't trying to figure out staffing. Pediatrics is part of our unit, and they also do minor outpatient procedures and transfusions. The peds nurses are part of our staffing, and there are also a handful of infusion nurses out of another department. They do stuff like IV antibiotics, dressing changes. No one informed me that while I was off on maternity leave, that we now handle staffing infusion/outpatient nurses. Would have been nice to know. It's never come up before because no infusion RN has called off while I've been in charge. Well, Sunday night, one called in and they had several procedures scheduled for Monday, and needed another nurse to replace her. Long story short, I spent a good hour trying to figure out how I was going to handle the problem. Our whole staffing is usually hard to do by itself because we always have to have the right mix of skill, let alone throwing in another batch of nurses with different skills. It's pretty hard to explain, but lets just say it was a pain in the ass. At the end of the shift, I did "baby care" for a first time mom who labored without an epidural. Awesome delivery, baby was perfect. She said that while she was pregnant, she had several friends tell her she'd need an epidural, that she was crazy to want to do it without one. She read several books, and said "You know, I knew I could do it, I would just need encouragement". And she did and she felt great afterward.

Happy Mother's Day

Here's a great story for Mother's Day. This is a true story, printed in our local paper. A mother, 39 years old gave birth to identical twins 3 years after having a tubal ligation. It was a first pregnancy for her. She made the decision to have her tubes tied because her OB said she was too great of a risk to take oral contraceptives. She and her husband got married later in life and decided they waited too long for children and were okay not having children. Somehow, one egg made it to her uterus, was fertilized and then split. The babies, born 8 weeks early are healthy and doing well, and mom and dad are absolutely thrilled. Talk about divine intervention right there. Happy Mother's Day!!

Happy Nurses Week.

Happy Nurses week to all! This past week, the hospital decided that they needed to do something so the patients would know who the nurses are. The way it is, you really can't tell RN's, from techs, from doctors or housekeepers. So their idea was to give all the RN's this big red care that reads RN to wear behind our badge. Our badge does have job title on it, but it's not real easy to read. Really, its a good idea, but they haven't done anything for the LPN's or techs. So maybe they'll get around to doing something for them.

Work wasn't too bad. I had one of those patients that came in on the prior shift, thought she'd been leaking fluid for 48 hours, and the admitting nurse got a positive nitrazine strip so she decided that her water did indeed break. Antibiotics were started due to the possible prolonged rupture, and the patient was contracting frequently. About the time I came on, she had received about a liter of fluid and wasn't contracting so well. I assess her, don't see amniotic fluid on the pad, but figure, I'll wait an hour, recheck her and then I'll see some amniotic fluid. Hour later, I check her cervix, no fluid on the pad, her cervix hasn't changed and, forgive me, she was drier than you would be if the membranes were ruptured. Plus you usually get some amniotic fluid back after checking and I didn't. Call doc, tell her I don't think she's ruptured, but she said go ahead and start pitocin, just in case. 5 hours later, I recheck her after finally getting her contracting adequately (I don't check too often if they are ruptured, especially a prolonged ROM) and again, I don't see fluid, patient states she hasn't felt anything leaking and while she has progressed, there is a bulging bag of water. Maybe she had a high leak earlier and since the baby was sitting low, it covered the cervix and fluid couldn't leak, but my theory is she was contracting and she was leaking urine. Usually urine doesn't turn the nitrazine paper blue, but it does happen from time to time. When she got a liter a fluid, it rehydrated her and that's why she stopped contracting. She was past her due date so it didn't really matter that much in the long run. That's always been a fear: that I'll assess someone and either think their water broke and it didn't, or think that the membranes are intact but they aren't. It's too bad it's not always crystal clear.

The things kids say

This morning I was feeling pretty good about my progress in getting back into shape. I went running yesterday and actually ran the entire way ( I usually have to walk a short distance) and when I stepped on the scale this morning, I was pleasantly surprised to see the number. I decided that I'm losing the weight from my legs but not my abdomen. I'm still carrying around much of my belly fat cushion from pregnancy, and if I don't suck it in, I look about 16-20 weeks pregnant. But I didn't think it was too noticeable. So I was sitting on the couch this a.m., and my darling daughter came up, patted my stomach, and said very excitedly "Mommy! You have another baby in your belly! Yeah!!" Now if my husband said something about my stomach, I'd punch him, but it was kinda funny coming from Clara. But I think I'll add some distance to my run! Gotta love their honesty!!

Lazy

I had vowed to get outside and start walking and running again when it finally warmed up. It's been pretty nice lately, but I'm really struggling to get my lazy butt out and run. When I'm in shape, I really do enjoy running. I listen to music and just kinda space out. But it's going to take me some time to get back into shape so that when I run, I'm not so uncomfortable. And I think that's why I can't seem to get back into it. Plus by the time husband gets home, we get dinner cleaned up, there isn't a whole lot of time before we have to give the kids baths and get them into bed. What I need is a running buddy - someone that would in a way hold me responsible for getting out there. I guess I'm lacking discipline..

Clara is pretty much potty trained, but we're still struggling to get her to stay dry at night. I know a lot of kids have a hard time with this, but we were spoiled by how easily Jacob made that transition. I think Clara is a more sound sleeper than Jacob, though. Some mornings, she wakes up dry, but the rest of the time, she's wet. She wears a pull-up at night, but doesn't at nap time. If she refuses to sit on the potty before nap, and she then sleeps soundly, she often wakes up wet. Or if I just finished the last load of laundry. She's always looking out for me, making sure I have something to do. I'm so ready for her to figure this last part of potty training out!

Back to your regularly scheduled blogging

So I decided that I must be a bit hormonal because I shouldn't have been so put off by one comment. I just didn't really know what it was that was so irritating about that post. Plus I've read several different things all over the internet about how bad L&D nurses can be, and I didn't want to post something that would add fuel to that fire. Because all the nurses I know and work with really care about their patients. Why else would you stay working as a nurse, working short staffed, sick, tired? It's the patients that keep us in it, not the pay I can tell you that! :)I've worked with nurses that have worked while in labor, with a torn achilles tendon, and pretty bad colds/flu. But, I digress. And you all are right - this is my blog. I can say what I want (while not revealing details that could identify a patient, of course). Plus, I knew when I started this blog that someone may not like what I have to say, and I'd just have to deal with it. So I'm putting on my big girl panties. I'm a grown woman, (although most of the time I still feel like a college student), so I can take it.





Onto more positive stuff - Jacob is really becoming quite the character. He always has been a little precocious. But at the store this weekend, he was standing on the edge of the cart, riding as we cruised through the aisles. It was busy so there was a lot of weaving in and out. After a bit he said "Man, I need to get off this crazy train!". I thought I was going to pee my pants! And this a.m., I guess husband asked him to get the car seat for him. Jacob then said "Why, do you need it or something?" Husband thought it was funny and asked him if he was being sarcastic and Jacob said "Yeah!". You just never know what he's going to say or do next. Isaiah has also mastered the rolling over. It's like a game with him - how far can I move? Before I know it, he's going to be crawling. He also like to chew on everything - which will be a problem once he's mobile and can get the the other two kids' toys. But we have one of these play mats with the arches that toys dangle from. One of the toys is just right at the level of his mouth and he'll lay there, arms down, and chew on this toy. It's hilarious. But I am easily entertained.

Man, was I misunderstood

I guess I'm not doing such a good job getting my real intentions/feelings across in my posts. I removed the last post because apparently I was misunderstood. Never, EVER do I hope that something horrible happens to any patient - whether it be preterm labor and delivery, pre-eclampsia, hemmorhage, a horrible delivery either by c-section or vaginally. I guess my whole point is if you read the last post before I removed it was that it's nice to be able to stop the spiral of a poor outcome from happening - not to enjoy that it happens. But unfortunately, bad stuff happens. And if there weren't people out there that didn't mind the stress and rush of pregnancy/labor/and its possible complications, there wouldn't be any OB/GYNS, doulas, nurses working in OB, there wouldn't be anyone to deliver the baby, to support moms while they are laboring with or without an epidural, to help get moms wishes across to the doctor for her because she's busy birthing her baby, to help keep her calm as we prepare for a transfer to a higher level facility, to support her and let her mourn the loss of her child, or as we prepare her for a preterm delivery because keeping her pregnant would be more detrimental to her and her baby's health. I enjoy labor and birth. I like the continuity of care, but I realize that some women might not like/bond with their nurse, whether it be personality differences or something else. I can't tell you how many times I have come home stressed and cried because of something that happens at work. I shed many, many tears when a family delivers a stillborn. I end up having to look at my relationship with God and wonder why He lets these things happen, and I have to process all of that every single time it happens (although I know its worse for the family). I cry when we transfer someone because the fetal monitor strip looks like shit and they are less than 34 weeks and I know that they'll be delivered as soon as they are at the other hospital with a NICU. I cry when we have a crash c-section in the middle of the night after the baby's been delivered and everything is stable. So I guess I'm going to have to be more careful in how I type my words. Perhaps I should just get a diary and write all of this down in a book and not share my thoughts on-line. Labor nurses are people, we have feelings and get stressed at work like any other job. I shouldn't let one comment bother me, but again, this is the kind of person I am - I'm anal retentive and I don't like offending people. Give me a little slack here.

Doc appointments

This morning after work, I went to see my GP about my auras and headaches I've been having. Like I suspected, he says it sounds like classic migraine auras, the only thing odd is that I started having them at an older age. It sounded weird to hear that, but usually people have the onset a bit younder (I'll be 30 this year), but that it wasn't unheard of to start having them at my age. I was there for about 30 minutes, the longest I've ever been checked over by a doc, and he thinks the problem is sleep deprivation, but there isn't much we can do about it right now because I'm breastfeeding. An he's probably right. Even though I've worked nights for a long time, I did switch from working 4-5 nights a week to 3 nights a week while I was pregnant, I started having them after I was getting up and down 3 times a night to pee when I was home, and I continue to wake up a couple times a night. I also can't seem to stay asleep very long after I've worked. Like today. I went to bed a 9a.m. I fell asleep fine, but I woke up about 12:30, and tried to fall back to sleep to no avail. I never had this problem before Isaiah was born. I don't know if its because I'm in new-mommy mode and I'm more atuned to noises, or if its because I've been sleeping at night more often than not. I'm not sure. He said there are sleep aids and medications to stop migraines, but he doesn't want to tell me to stop breastfeeding, because he'd like me to continue for at least 6 months. I told him I can live with the aura and the minor headache that follows. I basically just wanted to make sure that that is what it was. I was thinking "no way am I going to quit nursing unless I absolutely have to". I've heard people say that melatonin is a great thing to take to help with sleep and nightshift so I might have to check that out and make sure it's okay to breastfeed with. Right now, doc didn't think I need to have an MRI to rule out anything else. But I'm to keep a log of the auras and to call if they become more frequent, get worse, or if I have any other neurological symptoms like numbness. He also said that if I decide I do want imagining to just call and they'd have it scheduled. I think he was frustrated because he couldn't really help me, but I told him that I really just wanted to make sure that it was migraine auras and that I can deal with them and try to make lifestyle changes. He also said that the POP's Im on for bcp is actually the prefered form of bcp for people with migraines, so I'm much relieved with that info.

Tomorrow we're going up to my sisters medical school graduation. My in-laws are coming down to watch Jacob and Clara, which makes me a bit nervous, and we're taking Isaiah with us since he's content to sit and be held. We'll only be gone during the day and I'm sure everything will be fine. The last time they were down, it was much better than it had been. It's weird to think that my little sister, is a doctor. I still remember us as kids, and I was kinda mean, okay, I was mean, but I was the big sister and viewed that as my job. I remember telling her "I'm going to give you a nickname and I'll let you choose. It's either butthead or buttwipe". To which she chose butthead. I used to hang her stuffed animals and dolls up to her ceiling fan and turn them on so they would be circling the room by their necks. I talked her into eating crayons as a toddler by telling her that there was candy mixed in with my crayon bucket (there wasn't). I told her that the colored pennies were worth more than the silver coins and certainly more than the paper and that I'd gladly take them off her hands. And I also would tell her "smell my butt, I promise I won't fart". But of course I would. I'm not sure why I did this, or how I was able to do it on demand or why she would actually do it. I'm sure she just wanted me to like her. Yeah, I was mean, and of course we were kids then. There was payback, of course. When I was in high school, a friend and I decided to get up on the roof of my house, not sure why we thought that was a good idea, but we did. My sister and her friend took the ladder down and left us up there in the middle of the summer. I also got to wear a glass of milk after a rude comment when I was a freshman in college. I'm sure my mom was worried we'd always hate each other. But we grew up and we talk everyday. I cried and whined to her when husband and I broke up when we were dating, I call her for medical advice and to complain about anything and everything, and she was there when I delivered Jacob and Isaiah and would have been there for Clara if she could have been, but Husband barely made it for her birth, let alone anyone else. I couldn't take her out to get drunk on her 21st b-day because I was 30 plus weeks preggo with Jacob, and I couldn't drink with her when she graduated from college because I was preggo with Clara, and I can't party too much tomorrow because I have 4 month old. But I'm very proud of what she's been able to do and wouldn't miss this graduation for the world. Hell, I'll probably even cry when they read her name, followed by MD. I mean, she had to be smart to survive a sister like me, right?! Anyway, congrats sis on becoming "Butthead, MD"