Dear Lovely Twin Ladies,

I apologize for last night. Work was super busy and I didn't have time to empty your compartments of the liquid gold you so diligently make for my child. It is much appreciated and I didn't make time for you last night, and I know how much you look forward to the emptying with either the pump or baby, and I am truly sorry. And I do understand your confusion when you hear crying babies and you aren't being taken care of. But is it necessary to make yourselves so firm that everytime I turned the wrong way, it felt like a boulder, or a tight water balloon, ready to pop? Mrs. Bladder was also ignored, but perhaps she is used to the neglect because she didn't cause any leakage and really didn't bother me until the end of the night, when I realized I hadn't peed all night, but then again, I ignored Thirst and Hunger, so there really wasn't too much to irritate her to begin with. I understand you are a bit more hormonal than she is, but really? Did you need to leak that liquid gold clear through my scrub top? I know that first time dad, who's wife was laboring and planned to breastfeed, sure enjoyed the show you put on. I can still see the mortification on his face when he realized what had caused the headlight style design on my scrubs. I know my caring coworkers sure enjoyed seeing that display of your abilities (I can still hear them laughing...) Message was received, I will not ignore you again for a full 12 hours.

Humbly Yours,
Nurse Lochia