Dear Lovely Twin Ladies,

I apologize for last night. Work was super busy and I didn't have time to empty your compartments of the liquid gold you so diligently make for my child. It is much appreciated and I didn't make time for you last night, and I know how much you look forward to the emptying with either the pump or baby, and I am truly sorry. And I do understand your confusion when you hear crying babies and you aren't being taken care of. But is it necessary to make yourselves so firm that everytime I turned the wrong way, it felt like a boulder, or a tight water balloon, ready to pop? Mrs. Bladder was also ignored, but perhaps she is used to the neglect because she didn't cause any leakage and really didn't bother me until the end of the night, when I realized I hadn't peed all night, but then again, I ignored Thirst and Hunger, so there really wasn't too much to irritate her to begin with. I understand you are a bit more hormonal than she is, but really? Did you need to leak that liquid gold clear through my scrub top? I know that first time dad, who's wife was laboring and planned to breastfeed, sure enjoyed the show you put on. I can still see the mortification on his face when he realized what had caused the headlight style design on my scrubs. I know my caring coworkers sure enjoyed seeing that display of your abilities (I can still hear them laughing...) Message was received, I will not ignore you again for a full 12 hours.

Humbly Yours,
Nurse Lochia

You know you're a mother when..

When you go to a health screening and it's not until you get home that you realize that you have breastmilk spit-up on your shoulder and one side of your nursing bra is unsnapped.

Or when you start making lunch and your 3 year old comes down the stairs, sans pants, asking you to wipe his butt. You grab the wipes and realize he's covered in poo. A bath is necessary so you take him upstairs to the tub and you find his poopy underwear in his room, poop smears on the hardwood floor, on his freshly laundered comforter, on a towel and smeared all. over. the. toilet.

Or when you are rushed out of the shower because the baby is hungry and it's not until the next morning that you realize in your haste to get dressed, you put your underwear on inside-out.

Gimmee a Pee!

Something wonderful has been happening in our house... Isaiah is potty trained!!! YAY!! We decided with Isaiah to do things a little different this time around. Part of it, I'll admit, is because I'm lazy. I just didn't want to spend hours upon hours sitting in the bathroom, or forcing fluids down him, or getting him to sit on a potty chair while watching tv. Jacob and Clara were both 3 before they were potty trained and I don't think anything we could have done would have made them use the toilet any sooner. Yeah, some kids are completely potty trained before they are two. A nurse I work with was one of those lucky mothers, both her boys were out of diapers before they were 2, and I hate her for it. Ok, so I don't really, I'm just insanely jealous. I just don't think my kids were willing to give up the diaper until they were 3. With Isaiah, we never bought pull-ups. Maybe they work for some kids, but I think they were a hindrance for mine. We used them with the older 2, but really, I think they are just glorified diapers that still allowed them to poop or pee in their pants with little consequence. I figured I'd just go straight to underwear, and that way he would be really wet/dirty, not like how it feels and be more motivated to use the toilet. I bought underwear for him about a month ago and we'd put the underwear on over his diaper, and encourage him to use the potty. About 2 weeks ago, after changing a monster, nasty poopy diaper one morning, I decided I'd had enough. He would go on the potty sometimes, and he knew when he needed to go - he just wouldn't always want to do it. So I put him in underwear. Said today was as good as any to jump right in. He fought me for a bit, but eventually he decided that it was pretty cool to not have diapers on, plus I told him how happy I was, how happy his teachers at school would be, etc. I loaded his backpack up with plenty of underwear and pants/socks, shirts, etc and sent him off to school after lunch. His teachers are more than willing to help with the whole potty training thing, and I had told them my plan a week or so earlier. He came back in the same clothes, and we've been good since. He did have a couple accidents. The first one, he completely emptied his bladder, the next was just a dribble, and we only had one poop in the underwear but other than that, he's done fabulous! Those accidents helped him to realize that it doesn't feel good to go in his pants. He hasn't had an accident for a week, and while we still do diapers at night, he is completely daytime potty trained! I did promise to buy him a toy once he was using the toilet so I took him to the store and let him pick out a toy...that was a 30 minute ordeal, but it was fun. Over this last month, we've really seen major changes in Isaiah - he's talking more, he no longer demands a drink for bed, he sleeps all night (HUGE!!!) and now he's out of diapers! It sure feels good!