I just can not believe that my baby boy is 8 weeks. It just doesn't seem like it has been that long. I also can't believe I go back to work in 2 weeks. I like my job, but I'm not looking forward to going back. The first night back is always the hardest, and it seems like with each kid, I'm more and more emotional about leaving them to go back to work. You'd think by now I realize it's no big deal...I work 3 nights a week. One thing that will be hard is going back to switching my sleep schedule all the time. Sleeping at night 4 nights a week, working all night the other 3 then sleeping during the day. You don't realize how much that messes with you until you are going to bed every night. I've talked with a few of the girls from work and apparently morale is at an all time low - people who no one ever thought would leave the department are looking for other jobs and are even willing to leave to go to another area of nursing, like ER or med-surg and these are die-hard labor nurses! It's busy, short-staffed and everyone is taking on patient loads that make it hard to give good-enough care, let alone give good care. So I'm really excited about going back to work. Maybe something dramatic will happen and it will be all sunshine and roses, we'll get to do one-on-one nursing care and be able to give the attention we want to give to our patients. I won't be holding my breath.
But, back to Caleb. He's starting to be much more attentive to the world around him. He's been spending a lot more time awake, just looking around. He's starting to smile purposefully now, too. I just love baby smiles! They are addictive and I can tell you I've spent so much time trying to get him to smile again. The other kids look at me like "Mommy, what is wrong with you?". They think I'm crazy, I'm sure. But Caleb will sit in his bouncy/vibrating chair and just wait for someone to come talk to him. Then he just lights up, his eyes get really big and he will try to imitate what we do with mouths. It's so cute. He's still a pretty decent sleeper. He has a good stretch at the beginning of the night for about 5 hours, then he's up every 2-3. He ends up in bed next to me about every night. I prefer to not co-sleep, but he sleeps so much better next to me, and I usually just fall asleep nursing him. But, so far, sleeping isn't too bad. I just hope when I do go back to work, he does okay with me gone.