July 12, 2010
I hate my uterus
I'm really not a big whiny pregnant woman usually. OK, I think everyone deserves to complain about the peeing every 2 hours, the backache and general discomfort that goes along with pregnancy. So I did my share of that with my first 3 kids. It feels good and relieves stress. But man, the last couple weeks have been unpleasant. I have a long way to go to be this uncomfortable. And really, I understand that being pregnant isn't a comfortable state to be in. But my back aches all the time, I contract all the time, every time I walk my uterus contracts into a tight little ball, I pee constantly, I still vomit daily and I can't sleep. My 12 hour shifts are killing me. It's all I've been able to do the last two weekends to keep my composure until I'm in the van - then the tears from the severe discomfort just come and keep coming. Baby Cletus is doing just fine, practicing acrobatics in my uterus and gently nudging me pretty regularly, which I love. But the bad thing? I feel like I'm supposed to be "tough", after all, I'm a labor and delivery nurse and I should know that it's not easy being pregnant, and I'm having my 4th kid and all so I am going to feel like hell. But I've been pregnant before...I felt GREAT until 32-33 weeks with Isaiah, felt great the whole time with Clara and honestly, with Jacob, I had no idea what to expect but I worked up until delivery day so that doesn't count. This time I'm miserable after any amount activity. My cervix isn't changing and I'm pretty certain he's going to stay put until October, thankfully. But I've got a long way to go. Being off work won't do much good because I work just as hard at home as I do at work. And I don't do well being told I can't do something. Not being able to run OR go on walks is driving me nuts! Can you imagine me on bedrest? Ugh, I really hope he's just positioned in there funky and that's causing all of this because it did come on suddenly the night I ended up as a patient at work. I'm trying to stay positive and deal with it because I know how blessed I am to have this healthy little boy growing...I just am angry with my uterus right now. I hope it gets better, or I figure out a way to deal with this irritable uterus of mine for the next 15 weeks.