Actual conversation I had with a patients mother Friday evening. My patient was changing in the bathroom and missed out on most of this lovely conversation I had with her mother. For reference, I was in the usual scrubs with a scrub jacket on...usually that covers the belly fairly well.
Rude mother of patient: Wow, so how much longer do you have? (referring to my ever expanding abdomen)
Nurse Lochia: "About 15 weeks...I'm not due until October"
RMofP: (makes face that suggests she thought I was due any day). "Wow, you got big, huh?"
NL: (trying to hide my annoyance, feeling like I should further explain) "It's my 4th baby, and yes, I got big pretty quick. It happens."
RMofP: "Oh, my daughter is having her 4th baby too, but she's not nearly as big as you and she's due in 6 weeks!"
NL: (speechless, contemplating giving her the finger or commenting on the size of her waistline, but realize that may be a bit unprofessional, so I just smile.)
*patient walks out of bathroom*
RMofP: (to patient) "Hey, guess what? Your nurse here is bigger than you and she's not due until October!"
patient looks apologetically at me , embarrassed by her mother's comments.
It's never the patient that says anything to me about being pregnant...no one so far has ever been bold enough to ask me how far along I am. They all go about it in a round-about way, asking if I have children, etc. But the patients' mothers? They don't hold back. It's actually pretty funny because the poor patient and her husband/boyfriend/FOB always look at each other, sometimes horrified that their mother had the nerve to go ahead and assume I'm pregnant. Now, it is fairly obvious in street clothes, but in scrubs, especially with a jacket on, the belly is covered pretty well at this point. The first time a patient's mother made a comment, I was only 18 weeks - she asked me how far along I was. A bold move. I think I may start answering "Oh, I'm not pregnant", feign indignation and offense, and say no more. Just to see what people do. I know, I know, mean, but you have to admit, it'd be pretty funny. Hey, I gotta have fun somehow!