December 16, 2009

That's not what its for!

It's always good to continue to learn. Even after several years of working as a labor nurse, I am still learning new things, but there are very few things that could shock me...so I thought. Last weekend I had a patient in labor. It was her and her husband's first baby and they were very excited. She was progressing nicely, got an epidural and went to sleep for the rest of her labor. Since she was numb from the epidural, I placed a foley catheter to keep her bladder drained because she wouldn't be able to feel when her bladder was full. I noticed that the urethra seemed larger than normal, but everyone's anatomy is different so I didn't think too much about it. A couple hours pass and I decide it's time to recheck her cervix. I go to check her and find the foley has come out. The catheter was sitting between her legs with the bulb still inflated, and no sign of bleeding. I searched my mind for the possibilities. I know it was in the right place, because I had a bag full of urine. That foley bulb had 10cc of saline in it - it should not fall out. And if it was pulled out, there would be a fair amount of blood, but there wasn't any. I was dumbfounded. I check her and find her to be 9 cm, so I don't worry about it. She progresses and pushes well so I call the doc for delivery. Perfect delivery, healthy baby with great apgars and the parents are thrilled. Afterwards, I go out to the desk and the delivering doc explains to me that this patient had dilated her urethra for sex. Huh? Maybe I live under a rock, but I had never heard of this. I know people may have their urethra dilated by a doctor for medical purposes, but not for this reason! I wish I was making this up! I guess she has seen a few people, this patient included, that have managed to dilate their urethra enough so their husband/boyfriend/partner can penetrate the urethra during sex. It explains why a fully inflated foley just fell out. Apparently its quite pleasurable for the man, but these women are, as you can imagine, going into the office with raging UTI's and kidney infections. Ouch! WTH people? I can't imagine there being any pleasure in that. Are these men so small that the vagina just isn't enough? I thought just having a catheter put in before my 1st c-section was unpleasant, I can't even imagine something larger. They must find pleasure in pain. But what happens down the road when they are 50? They'll be wearing depends by age 35! I guess everyone is free to do what they please to their body, but damn. I was completely shocked, still am. But, next time I see a fully inflated foley lying in the bed, I'll have an explanation.

Addition: I had to know how common this is and from what I've found, it's not very common, but happens. Maybe this couple used other objects and not a penis, but regardless, why, ouch and yuck!

13 comments:

Bridget said...

Oh-my-gosh. I'm pretty speechless. I cannot fathom.

womantowomancbe said...

Ewwwwww!!!!!

Sharpiegirl said...

NOOOOOO!!!!! Oh my gosh!

Diana J. said...

I think I'm going to go curl up in the fetal position and suck my thumb for a while. Yikes!

Katie said...

That's just....beyond words? Is it at all possible the MD was wrong? That's so crazy it sounds like the stuff of urban legend.

Jennifer (Niffer) said...

okay so I too must live under a rock... but HOW is she not totally incontinent NOW!?

I just read that whole post with my jaw totally dropped! Totally disgusting!

I'm still trying to figure this out! WTH is right!
??????

and yes, I'll be showing your post to all the girls at work on my OB unit. I wonder if they've ever heard of this!?
Ha!

Trillian said...

No! No! No! My eyes! The horrible thoughts swirling though my mind! I'm afraid to go to sleep now because I'm fairly sure I'll have nightmares.

What has been read cannot be unread and the power of suggestion has my urethra burning. :-S

TripMomma said...

OH MY...that one really should be exit only!

Nurse Lochia said...

Ok, so now I don't feel so bad that I had NEVER heard of this before. It just doesn't seem like it is possible to even do that, but what do I know!

Laura Jane said...

Good LORD!!!!

NOW I've heard everything.

(ouch, ouch, ouch, ooh, that just feels all sorts of WRONG!)

manapan said...

Wow. Just wow. I thought my abnormal psych professor had introduced us to all the wacky means of sexual gratification (ne.cro.zoo.phi.lia, anybody?), but that's a new one to me.

Laura said...

Oh.My.God. You have GOT to be kidding me.

Joy (When Does Daddy Come Home?!) said...

My face has a look of utter disgust.