Things I never said until I became Mom

1. Did you wipe your butt?

2. Stop smearing ketchup all over the table.

3. Stop sitting on the cat.

4. No, don't eat your blanket.

5. Quit picking your nose.

6. No, no, don't rip off the wallpaper.

7. Isaiah, don't grab Jacob's penis. (yes, at bathtime one night, Jacob was getting dressed and Isiah was getting undressed for the bath, and he happened to notice Jacob's stuff. I caught him as his little hand was reaching. Could have been a bad situation had he gotten a hold of Jacob!)

8. Don't put toys down your pants.

9. Quit eating those nasty asian beetles.

10. Get your clothes back on.

11.. Don't ever again color on the baby with markers.

12. (me to Husband immediately after returning home from the grocery store.) Okay, I need to wash my jeans right now because the baby had a huge booger hanging out and I could'nt let him eat it, so I had to wipe it off with my finger because I had NOTHING else, no wipes, no tissues, nothing and wiped it on my jeans.