November 19, 2007
Pubic hair inhabitants
I think I can speak for a lot of labor nurses out there when I say that we generally don't pay any attention to your nether regions - really it's just another part of the body and the place where your baby will make it's entrance into the world. But, if there is something funky going on down there, it will get our attention. Like perhaps shaving a design into your pubic hair or dying it a funky color. Piercings down there also will catch my attention. It makes my hurt just thinking about going to a piercing place, asking for a clit or labial piercing and then having some dude put a piece of jewelry there. I've seen one woman whose labia were practically hanging halfway down her thighs and I had a hell of a time getting in between the labia to find her vagina and do my exam, and she probably wondered what the hell I was doing. This weekend I saw something that I've never seen before and hope I never see again. I had a young grand-multip (I'm talking mid twenties, pregnant with her 10th baby) come in complaining of back pain and cramping. She was very dirty to the point that you could smell her "aroma" when you just opened the door to her room and she was obviously high on something. She had listed a permanent address, so as far as we know, she has a home. I knew I was going to have to muster all the willpower I had to keep from making a face at the smell when I had to pull back the sheet to check her cervix. So, I get ready to do an exam and notice something move in her pubic hair. I look and, I kid you not, I saw a couple bugs crawling around. I about came off of the bed it startled me so much! I managed not to scream, regained my composure and then got her into the shower to "help get her labor going a bit". It turns out that it's something the office has been dealing with this and the little critters were actually fleas. This mama took her shower, and then came out to the desk and announced that she was leaving and left before I could talk her into waiting a bit. I felt sorry for her and I guess she was just looking for a place to shower, I don't know. I will say that if I go the rest of my career and never see another bug, I'll be a happy labor nurse!