Hospital-Grade Toilet Paper Issues

One of the things I've recently learned involves the high quality toilet paper that hospitals and offices use. You know, that see-through thin, single-ply stuff that falls apart when wet? Let me explain. A couple months ago, I was admitting a patient for ruptured membranes. She was obviously ruptured and had just come out of the bathroom from changing into her stylish gown. I finish the admission, and when I go to check her cervix, there is toilet paper stuck to her labia. A few weeks later, I'm taking care of someone in for possible labor, and again I have to check her cervix. Again, I find toilet paper. And not just a little, but several shards on the labia and one pretty good size wad right in the middle of her vagina. Without thinking, I remove the wad and proceed with my exam. Then I realize that she had to have felt me do that and was probably embarrassed. In my defense, it had to be removed otherwise it would have traveled with my fingers to her cerivx. And I would never do anything purposely to embarrass any of my patients. These haven't been the only women with TP stuck to their genitals, and they were very clean women. Now that gets me thinking...how many times have I gone to the ob-gyn and had TP stuck to me? Everytime you go, don't you always either pee or give a urine sample? So ever since then, I have to make sure that I don't have any toilet paper stuck to me, which I realize will be a bit difficult when I start really getting big. So I have this conversation with my sister and it progresses into an experience she had at the gyn. (she's in med school and we pretty much have no boundaries when it comes to things we'll talk about) The MD was able to feel stool in her rectum when he did the manual exam and said to her "Feels like you need to go to the bathroom." Who would ever say that to someone who has their butt hanging off the bed with their feet in stirrups? Of course then I wonder if at some time, I went to the doc, with TP stuck to my labia and stool in my rectum. Maybe that's why my ob-gyn chuckled a bit the last time I called her in for a 3am delivery...
On to another subject, pregnancy is going fine. I'm still enjoying 3 trips to the toilet in the middle of the night, and Tums and I are again bonded. Nausea gone, heartburn in. It's not all that bad as 1 Tums will do the trick. There are also 4 of us at work who are due within 4 weeks of each other, 2 of us on nights. She is one week behind me. It's her first baby, and she is dying to start to show and wear maternity clothes. It's my 3rd baby, have outgrown most of my regular clothes and I know that while it's nice to finally look pregnant and not just fat, that you'll grow very tired of maternity fashion by the end. But, there is at least someone to commiserate with.