C-section or VBAC?

So ever since the day we decided we wanted to have another baby, I've been thinking about how I want to deliver number 3. Let me go back...

In 2003, i delivered a healthy baby, vaginally, no complications and no 'help' ie pitocin, AROM, forceps, etc. But, oh I did love that epidural. So number 2 is close to being due. I figured, well, I had a pretty quick and easy labor the first time, so this one should be easier since it's my second baby. I hit 36 weeks and my OB is off on medical leave for several weeks. At the appointment that day, I would find out who would deliver my baby and if I was dilated at all. Nurse practioner comes in, listens to the heart rate and say's "Sounds a little irregular today. It could be that the doppler is picking up your heart beat and the baby's, but lets do an NST to make sure". So on the monitor we go. Heart rate looks good, a little fast at 165, but the babe was moving everywhere. Then, heart rate in the 50's. An abrupt drop. I'm thinking, maybe its my pulse, so I check. I'm running about 70-80 and starting to climb as I realize that the heartrate of 50 is indeed my baby. Of course, in the office, there isn't a call light. So I turn the monitor volume up and as I was about ready to holler, in comes one of the docs. She immediately has me go down 2 doors for a sono to make sure that there isn't any fluid around the baby's heart. Sono didn't show any fluid but did show a VERY irregular heartrate. She then says "We need to get you delivered and I know you know that means a c-section". So rushed over to L&D I go, trying not to cry on the walk over. I do okay until I see my co-workers waiting for me when I promptly start sobbing. Within 15 minutes, I'm heading back to the OR, hoping my husband can make it in time. Luckily he does make it as they're cutting. She was born 35 minutes from the decision to deliver. As we say, 30 minutes from decision to incision. She was under oxygen for 10 hours, monitors and had cardiology tests. She's perfectly fine now. But, I must say that her birth was the scariest thing imaginable. I thought she was going to die. I was blessed with knowing the staff and the doctors. Had I not been a L&D nurse, it would have been even scarier. So, back to my dilemma.

I can't decide if I want to deliver vaginally or by repeat section. I know the risks of a section are greater than a VBAC and my OB is leaving the decision in my hands. The very small risk of uterine rupture is worring me. Being a nurse, I would be that one whose uterus decides to come apart during labor. All I want is a non-emergent delivery. I'm not sure my mental health could take another dash back for a crash c-section. But the recovery from a c-s sucks big ones. So, luckily I have some time to decide. Maybe little bean will make it easy for me by either being breech or by coming so fast that I hit hte hospital a 8cm and have no choice but to deliver. I guess we'll see.