June 23, 2009

Battle at the 18 month old doctor visit

This a.m. I took Isaiah to his 18 month check-up. As everyone can imagine, doctor's visits with toddlers are not something that be ranked in the top 1000 things to do for fun. Somehow, I forgot how much fun it is to try and occupy a toddler in the office when all he wants to do it climb on the stool, table, pull the sheet off the table, etc. I think people who work with kids decide that they want some entertainment during the day. So they have you check-in with your toddler in tow. While they take their sweet time checking you in, you are trying to fill out the same paper about health history that you filled out the last 5 visit with all three of your kids. In the meantime, your toddler has discovered the potted plants by the window and is trying to eat the leaves. You figure "hey, if they're at a docs office, surely they aren't poisonous, and at least he's not trying to escape down the hallway, which is not barricaded with armed guards and leads straight to the lobby of the large clinic". That is of course when your little Houdini reads your mind and darts right down that hallway before the lady at the desk is done checking you in. You run after him and finally occupy him with the fish tank they have on display. Thankfully, your wait is short in the waiting room, but now you wrestle with your toddler to let the office nurse get his temp, head circumference, weight, length and temperature. It is a draw. You have start to develop a couple bruises from the kicking feet and you pull strands of your hair from your toddlers fist, but the meausrements are done, so it's a tie. You then wait for eternity (well, 5 minutes) for the doc to come in and do her thing. She is good and works well with kids, but there is still some restraining involved and we all know how much toddlers LOVE being restrained. Then comes time for shots. You find that you are up to date...but, he needs a finger stick for hemoglobin levels. The doc leaves and the nurse comes back to draw blood. Of course, your little one knows he's going to be restrained again and that the woman in scrubs is going to do something he won't like. So the tantrum begins. You suffer a black eye, but she gets the drop of blood she needs. Then, she realizes that she got him a little too good because his finger won't stop bleeding. Instead of giving the mother the gauze to hold on his finger, she restrains his arm and finger so as not to get blood on the mom or his blanket. Now you are sweating and finally say through clenched teeth "give me the damn gauze". She obliges and gives you a band-aid but firmly reminds you, the one who lives with this little person that puts everything in his mouth, to take the band-aid off before you put him in the car seat so he won't choke. Right. I never would have thought about that. No problem there because your toddler pulls the band-aid off and throws it in your face. She then tells you as your child is throwing the biggest fit you have ever seen to "Wait here while we get your results". WTF?!?! So you wait, and he throws himself all over the room and you are helpless to do anything. Finally after waiting so long you are sure Jesus has returned, you step out of the room and ask if you can call back and get the results because your darling angel has pulled his pants off and thrown his diaper on the ground. She then murmurs something you don't understand and the nurse comes back and tells you the results are normal and that you can leave. You walk out with your screaming child and hope he doesn't scare all the other toddlers in the waiting room. This is where your toddler claims victory in the battle at the doctor's office. Anyway, Isaiah is healthy. He had been on the low end weight-wise and his head was measuring 95% at 15 months. As I expected, it was probably a poor measure (I can't imagine how that could happen with a toddler) and his head circ is 75%, weight 45% and height 50%. So he's growing and doing well. Me on the other hand needs to take some ibuprofen and ice my wounds :)


Joy@WDDCH said...


Except we wait for eternity for the doctor to come in. We live in an inner city so it only makes sense that they over-book and run behind a lot. I'm glad my kids are finally at the 1 time a year checkups.

pinky said...

I feel your pain! My kids were both hellions. So they are 13 years apart. When women say boys are better behaved than girls, they have not seen my girl in action. She was a climber! Crazy how she could scale things? Thank God she is 24 now with only a few scares from childhood and no broken bones.

Thanks for the mental trip down memory lane.

AwkwardMoments said...

Oh MAN! I am so sorry

Anonymous said...

thankfully i don't go through that any more. we found a really great pedi who is great with the boys.
suggested i nurse my youngest while doing an ear exam (or giving shots) and things go really smoothly now.

it was hell at the other office. much like what you described.