Working in OB, I've learned that there is one thing that I will never understand. It doesn't make sense to me that someone who cares nothing about their baby, will come in to the hospital, 32 weeks pregnant, completely drunk and high, and they go on to deliver a healthy baby. But at the same time, a perfectly deserving, loving couple can try for a long time, finally become pregnant with that little miracle, only to get the devastating news that it has a condition that isn't compatible with life. One mother does everything she should NOT do: drinking, drugs, horrible diet, etc. The other does everything she can to make sure she is giving her baby the best start: folic acid before conception, prenatal vitamins, excellent diet, etc. And who is it that suffers the loss? I guess I'm not meant to understand and I'm sure God knows what He's doing, but it's really hard to see down here. I know I've talked about this before, but this is one of the most difficult aspects of working in OB.
I joined a group of women who are all due in October. It's been fun to watch others grow and progress along with me. As you maybe guessed, one of the women received devastating news yesterday. I just pray she and her family finds the strength and comfort they need in the many tough days, weeks and months to come.
7 comments:
I work in child protection social work and I wonder the same thing. I have a co-worker who can't conceive but we're terminating parental rights on a woman's 6th child who gets pregnant within months after we take the previous one. We had another "unfit" mother get pregnant while she's on the Depo shot for heaven sake. There is no answer as to why but it doesn't stop us from wondering every day...
I myself am in that struggle too. Altough I am that mom that did everything right. I took folic acid FOREVER before becoming pregnant in Feb 09. I delivered 6 weeks early due to pre eclampsia and my poor son has more health concerns than most eldery people. Right now we are at Riley Hospital for Children fighting a Medullosblastoma (brain cancer) that was just diagnosed after a life flight from home to Indy on mother's day of all days.
My preacher came to visit yesterday and we had that same discussion, how and why do people that do the "right" thing end up in situations like this? We will never know the answer but I am rest assured in the fact that I have the mental stability (altough somedays I question it) and the education to deal with what we are going through whereas the "other" moms (i.e. druggies, alcoholics etc) would not be able to be there for their child.....
It's a constant internal battle that we have as nurses. The mothers who don't give a crap have these healthy kids, while the mothers/potential mothers who DO give a crap have the worst luck.
I cannot wrap my brain around it either. I've shed quite a few tears because of this.
I am one of the "do everything I can" Mums who ended up delivering a severely disabled and medically complex child with no concrete cause or diagnosis. After 8 years of countless fertility treatments and tears I haven't had another child.
I think about this exact scenario regularly and I don't get it.
Maybe God does know what he's doing, but I wish he would tell me.
I have had the exact same thought many a time. Why is it that the crack head prostitute can have 10 babies that are all in CPS custody and the super sweet couple is having their 4th or 5th fetal loss? I really don't understand it.
I'm with you. My 3rd baby took many years to concieve oddly enough since I had no trouble with the first two, only to find out he had Trisomy 13.
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