Ranting and Raving

Dear Charge Nurses, when there are two nurses back in labor with 5 labors, and 2 outpatients, if there are 2 labor nurses on post-partum, please send at least one back to help, before a patient precips because she is moving quickly. We were stretched too thin. Your 2 labor nurses were in catching a baby while no one was out monitoring the other patients. It could have been ugly. Plus now you have two grumpy labor nurses who will repeatedly tell you "we told you we needed help". You are lucky we are experienced, work well together and know without having to ask what needs to be done. You got lucky this time. Let's not keep playing Russian roulette.

Dear elective inductions who don't give us a working phone number, we are very sorry you didn't get the message that you were being bumped because we don't have a labor room to put you in, or the staff to care for you. Yes, we know you were "scheduled" but shall you or I go tell that mom who is 8 cm with no epidural laboring in a triage chair that she needs to close her legs because you were "scheduled" and should get a labor room? These people are in labor, you are not. We'll reschedule you when we can.

Dear Physician of the Year in my book, thank you for seeing how nuts the unit was, and told your elective induction that she would have to go home after we made sure her baby looked great, and be scheduled later. You did this with no prompting from us nurses. We love you. Really, we do.

Dear Physicians, if you see that there are only 3 labor nurses for umpteen billion patients, please, we beg of you for our sake and especially for the patients sake, please do not break your 3 patients bags and order pitocin at 1am because you came for a delivery. And please come up with more creative diagnoses for medical inductions than swelling when my lower extremities are more swollen than your patient, or for PIH when her BP's are 90/50 and no other symptoms. If you were worried about PIH, how 'bout ordering extra labs? Oligohydramnios would be a good one. That I can't rule out without an US. Try that one, make me feel like you don't think I'm an idiot. Again, talk with some of your colleagues, take notes, treat the nurses like professionals, don't make a bad name for the majority.

Dear Mother of my labor patient, I just want to thank you for the comic relief this morning when after a cervical check you said "Why are you carrying on so much, did you do this when he was sticking his weenie in your stuff?" Patient laughed heartily and I about wet myself at your colorful remark. Thank you. I needed that.

And please, dear God, can you let this weekend be more manageable? I pray you send an experienced labor nurse, or 3, who wants to work nights to our hospital.