Jacob's birth story

My oldest baby turned 9 years old July 13th.  I don't think I've ever posted his birth story, my only vaginal delivery, so I thought I'd share :)
I was due July 31st.  At the time, I was working ICU stepdown and I really thought I'd go into August before I went into labor.  I was late signing up for childbirth class (because I was certain there was plenty of time) and we attended our 1st class Thursday July 10th.  I had seen my doc and not only had I put on 10lbs in 1 week, she said I was 3cm/80% and baby was at a zero station. Anyway, at the class, I noticed  contractions that felt much different than the braxton-hicks I'd been having.  I started timing and they were every 15 minutes.  This of course got me excited.  We went home that night and I ddin't sleep.  I was in the recliner, miserable with these mild contractions that refused to let me sleep.  I called work at 5am Friday morning and told them I thought I might be in labor so I stayed home.  They got closer together, but not much more uncomfortable, so I called Husband and we went in (I wasn't well researched, I'll admit).  I get there, I'm still 3 so i walk for a bit and the contractions space out and there's no change in my cervix.  I was really embarrassed and worried because the contractions I was having hurt and I just didn't know how I was going to handle real labor.  I felt silly, and kept saying "I'm a nurse, I should KNOW when it's labor".  Silly me.  Again, I barely slept Friday night because the contractions I was having, although still very irregular were uncomfortable enough to keep me awake.  I got a break in the early morning that Saturday before they started in again in the early afternoon.  We took a (very) short walk, I talked to my mom about 4pm and at 5pm, I had myself propped upright with pillows and I slept for about 2 hours.  Around 7pm, I woke up with more contractions but these really were different.  I started timing them, but was so out of my mind and determined not to go in until it was the "real" thing, that I kept telling Husband "they aren't regular...they are every 2-4 minutes!".  I got in and out of the tub, moaned, paced, drank water, puked, and was passing pink mucus.  Every time I'd see that pink tinged mucus, it made me feel better than something might be going on. I remember thinking that the contractions felt like Charlie horses in my uterus, so I ended up rubbing my belly with each contraction, like I could rub out the tightness like I did the whole pregnancy and the leg cramps.  I started getting more restless and at midnight, Husband said to me that we were going to the hospital.  I fought him.  I did NOT want to be in there for a false alarm/too early, but I finally relented and we went in.  I was 6cm on admission.  I remember telling S (who i would come to be good friends with in a few short months) that I was exhausted and that I was so afraid it was false labor.  It felt so good to hear I had made some change and although the contractions hurt, I was handling them.  But I figured I still had a long time to labor, I was tired so i opted for the epidural and it was wonderful.  Husband called family, my sister arrived and I went to sleep. I had hoped for several hours of sleep but Jacob had other plans.  I'm not sure of times, but S came in to check me and informed me it was time to start pushing.  I couldn't believe it!  I wasn't ready, I wanted more sleep and wished I could just roll back over for awhile.  I wanted a mirror to see and once it was brought it, I saw why I had to start pushing...I could see his head when I pushed!  He had SOOOO much hair!  I was just amazed at the fact I could see his head AND that I wasn't in excruciating pain.  I thought it was great.  S called the doc who was on-call.  He was old-school and did episiotomies on just about everyone, so thats what I got and the next contraction, his head was out.  At 4:23 am, July 13, 2003 Jacob was earthside and screamed his hello.  I was was in total shock that I had just given birth to this beautiful creature, that he was mine, and that I was his mother.  They gave him to me and everything else just faded away as I gazed at his face.  I remember kissing his head, not caring that he was covered with mucus, some vernix and blood.  He was just beautiful.  Shortly after, I delivered the placenta and here I was with this wonderful little boy.  Jacob James.  I had said I'd "try" to breastfeed (makes me laugh now, considering the breastfeeding advocate I became) and he latched right on.  I remember before he was born wondering if it would feel weird to breastfeed, but it came very natural for him and I.  Over the next few hours, I remember just looking him over and then curling him up on my belly, like he might have been in the womb, something I would do with all 4 of my children, and I just marveled that a few short hours earlier, that's where he was.  The body is an amazing thing.  I also remember looking at Husband with brand new eyes, and falling in love all over again and even deeper with the man who was the father of my son.  I remember this, and several other small details like it was yesterday.  It's hard to believe that 9 years have passed and I have given birth to 3 more children after him.  Happy Birthday, Big man! 

10 Years

So I'm about 8 days late, but June 8, 2012, Husband and I celebrated 10 years of marriage.  It's hard to believe it's been that long!  It's been a wonderful, fulfilling, sometimes trying, 10 years.  It's not been easy every step of the way, but I wouldn't want it to be.  We've had some rough spots.  We had our first big one shortly after Isaiah was born.  These last couple months have been very difficult with the stress of trying to have our house lead abated within 90 days, coming up with the money on top of the daily life things.  But here we are, stronger than we've ever been for all the joy and trials we've worked through.

In the last 10 years we've:
Rented 1 apartment, and 2 houses
Found employers we're happy with
Bought our first new car
Bought our first minivan...and traded it in for another minivan
Bought our first home
Welcome 4 beautiful children into the world
Bid farewell to the childbearing years
Mourned as we lost one child at 11 weeks gestation
Mourned the loss of our full term niece
Mourned the death of 2 aunts, 1 uncle, a grandmother, a couple great aunts/uncles
Watched as our friends married and had children of their own
Sent our first child to school
Sent our second child to school
Sent our 3rd child to pre-school
Watched our last child turn into a toddler
We manage a schedule with football/cheerleading and 3 kids in baseball!
Fought to the point we thought we'd never make it
Worked through the issues we had and made our relationship even stronger
I ran a marathon, Husband helped make it possible
Dealt with my sister moving far away as she followed her love to Texas
Learned to knit
Put in new windows and siding on our house


Our soloist at our wedding sang "Parents Prayer" and one line of the lyrics is "But now in your eyes the two will be as one" ...it's truer now than it was before.  While it hasn't always been easy, we've always come together, eventually.  The day Husband and I married, a poem I wrote was read and the last line was "With love and happiness in my heart, Today I marry my best friend".  I'm happy to say that's still the case.  Husband, I'm more in love with you now than I was 10 years ago.  I can't wait to see what the future holds in store for us!

In honor of our anniversary, our song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riuXdXAOArY

processional:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuC82JWKC1U

recessional, with some changes, instead of "if" it was "now that someone.."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKEHHeO9WFw

Father/Daughter dance:
In my arms by Mark Wills

Long time no post

In my defense, we've been really, really busy around here.  Thought I'd run down some highlights and hopefully, life will take us out of the fast lane with road construction here soon!

*  We just finished putting up new siding and installing new windows to help take care of the lead issue.  We were able to do it ourselves, which saved us a lot of money, but it was still quite pricey and we relied heavily on help from friends and neighbors.  The house looks awesome but we still have  few projects left we have to finish before we are given our "lead free" paperwork. 

*  One of our cars has died.  Yep.  The first car Husband and I bought together has finally bit the dust.  And because we are just loaded with more money than we can manage, this is no big deal. (sense the sarcasm)

*  I've had some amazing births lately and met some awesome moms and doulas.  I love that women are turning more and more to doulas for support and I've been impressed with the skill these doulas have. 

*  I ran my second half marathon and finished in 2:16...that shave off quite a bit of time from my first half marathon!  I'm very happy, considering I hadn't been able to get out and run like I had hoped.

*  Softball/Baseball/T-ball season is in full swing.  We have a game almost every single night.  I think for June, we have 6 days with no ball games. 

*  Husband and I will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary this Friday.  I can't believe that on June 8th, 2012, Husband and I will have been married 10 years.  It just doesn't seem like that much time has gone by, but wow, have we seen our share of blessings and sadness.  In 10 years, we've added 4 beautiful children to our family, said goodbye to our own little angel, a niece, a grandmother, 2 aunts, an uncle, a couple classmates, great aunts and uncles, lived in 4 different places, bought our first mini-van and home, went through the stress of having to put up new siding and windows due to a high lead level in our premature son, attended our first marathon with me running and Husband as my biggest supporter, watched our friends marry, have babies, divorce. We've had our good times and our not so great times, like the rough patch we had after Isaiah was born.  But here we are, at a milestone that seemed ages away 10 years ago.  I've seen Husband at his worst, Husband has seen me at my worst and yet somehow, here we are.  About to start the next decade of our marriage.  .  God has blessed us and gotten us through some very difficult times.  I cant' wait to see what the next 10 years hold in store for us

Racing Season

Finally, it's road racing season again!  My competitive side has been waiting since last November for it to come around again.  Ok, so I could have run a few 5K's in the cold months, but I'm not a cold weather runner.  Today I ran my first race, a 10K.  It's the first time I ran a 10K race.  I'll be honest, a 10K race is a bit intimidating because it seems like those that run and are fast, run it faster than my 5K pace.  I just didn't want to come in dead last and feel silly.  Today though, I figured I'd run.  I went to work, reported off at the end of my shift in a timely manner and was able to get down to registration with time to spare.  I signed up, and it was only in the 40's...usually not a temperature I like to run in.  It was a very informal race - no race bib numbers, no "official" time, etc.  It was just mapped out over a college campus.  Finally we were off, and I started off feeling pretty good.  The course was terrible wasn't great.  It wound all over campus and it was sometimes hard to figure out which way we were supposed to go.  Twice I had to stop and try to figure out which way I was supposed to go.  Thankfully, I chose correctly.  Others did not.  I was probably in the first 1/3 of the pack and as we're running the last 1-2 miles, a few groups of girls that I know were behind me were suddenly way ahead of me.  I'm pretty sure one of the places where it was confusing which way to go is where they turned.  And by turning early, they skipped probably an entire mile of the race.  No one ever passed me so I know that had to be the case.  I initially thought "Dang it!  I turned wrong and I'm running more distance than I should be!" but 2 other runners were right ahead of me and I just followed them to the finish line.  Turns out we were correct.  I think I was the last to cross the line, something I dread, but my time was 1:02:18.  They had a clock we could look at as we crossed the line so I at least had a time to go with my effort.  I was pretty happy with my time and I wondered if maybe it wasn't exactly 10K but I had tried out my friends garmin and it did say that I ran 10K.  Plus those other people didn't run the entire distance.  I'm sure they were pretty pumped when they saw their time, but if they ever run another 10K race again, they'll be sorely disappointed in their time because of missing that last mile or so.  Saturday is a half marathon I'm running.  I had been very worried about how I was going to do, but I think it will be fine.  I won't be breaking any records because I'm not adequately trained, but this 10K  gave me hope.  I felt good at the finish, I didn't walk at all, didn't even drink any water to rehydrate.  My competitive drive is back and I'm ready to run.

Skin to skin

A few months ago, my hospital's entire healthcare system implemented a new protocol that I actually really, really like. They want newborns to be placed skin-to-skin for at least 30 minutes after birth, if possible. It doesn't have to be right from the womb to the chest. And moms don't have to have their baby skin-to-skin because some women just aren't comfortable with it. But for most cases, babies now go directly onto moms chest and stay there for 30 minutes or more. I LOVE this!! It's something some of us have been doing anyway, but I do like that the whole system recognizes the benefits of keeping the baby and mom together. It's amazing how wonderful skin-to-skin contact is. If the baby is cold, the mother's body will adjust to raise the baby's temp, will cool if the baby is hot, the baby's heartrate and breathing are regulated, all because of that skin to skin contact. We've noticed APGAR scores are higher. A typical score is 8 & 9 and very rarely are there scores of 10, but lately, even the most conservative nurses are assigning 10's! The only 'problem' with this? I cry sometimes. Ok, ok, so I tear up pretty easy, but I just love it. Maybe it's because that's what I wanted with my kids and I fondly remember holding Caleb skin to skin in the recovery room. Whatever the reason, it's not uncommon for me to have tears in my eyes when moms are holding their sweet new babies on their chest. I think maybe because it's a different reaction when they hold their naked baby on their skin, compared to holding their swaddled baby. One mom, who's first baby was born before viability, was terrified of something going wrong, terrified that something would happen to this baby. She was so afraid, she refused to read anything about pregnancy beyond 22 weeks. She delivered by c-section, I was able to keep baby in the OR with the mom we went back to her labor room to recover (gone are the days of the 'recovery room'!!) She was scared of this baby and didn't know quite how to hold him and was so uptight, so I helped her get her baby skin to skin. Within a minute or two, she was relaxed and didn't let that baby go. It was just beautiful. After I gave him a Leboyer bath(2 hours later), he went back skin to skin and we wheeled out of the labor room to postpartum. I'm not sure that baby spent much time in the cribette! Another mom, who had been very, very sick a few years earlier held her baby skin to skin and the entire family started to cry because at one point, they thought they would lose her...now here she is with her newborn. As usual, I walk out of the room with tears in my eyes. Another mom laboring with her 3rd was open to the idea of skin to skin, but wasn't completely sure but said she'd try it. With the other 2 babies, the old routine was done....baby taken to the warmer, wiped off, meds given, weighed, all that stuff done while mom is taken care of. It wasn't done with any intention of separating them, it's was just how it was done. This time, she delivers a healthy baby who we place immediately skin to skin. She stays that way for a good hour and within 10 minutes, that baby was looking for the breast to nurse. It isn't always possible, sometimes the baby needs help to transition to life outside the womb, or mom isn't stable enough, but for the majority of healthy deliveries, it's been a wonderful change. I just have to keep tissues in my scrub pockets.

Things I've learned so far this week

It's only Wednesday, but so far, I've learned quite a bit.

1. Gak and furniture = not a great combination. To remove green gak from your furniture, a hot iron over a rag will work for the most part. But not completely. Works well on berber rugs, too.

2. Scentsy wax won't burn you if you get it on you, but it's a P.I.T.A to get off of a wall. A plastic cup works wonders for scraping it off and keeping the wax pieces from going everywhere.

3. Easter egg hunts are put on by grandmothers as a payback for what their kids did when they were young. The kids have a blast, but those little plastic eggs are full of candy, gak, play-doh, tiny markers, etc. All sorts of things that will get the kids wired and they can then redecorate their parents house in the amount of time it takes to go to the bathroom. It comes full circle. In several years, I will put on an Easter egg hunt...like I said, full circle.

4. Trying to run more than 4 miles after working three 12-hours shifts in a row isn't a good idea.

5. Black clothing is an allergen for toddlers. The instant you pull on that black shirt, their noses will run, they will sneeze if held too close to it and they will wipe their snot all over your shoulder. Hmm, maybe I need to have a snot colored wardrobe.

6. I *could* have been a grandmother by now...and could have been a grandmother for 4 years if I had a baby when I was 14 and then my kid had her 1st at 14. Ack.

7. A waiver from the state health department will cut the cost of putting up new siding and windows because we are able to do it ourselves, or with a group of people willing to help us do the work. It will be a considerable chore, and a major clean-up of the inside of the house to minimize lead dust, but it's a feasible solution. :)

New routine

As much as I want to just hide my head in the sand (if it's by my house, it's probably contaminated with lead dust) I can't. This nightmare we've been living since September that keeps getting worse as time drags on isn't something I can wake up from or ignore. So until it is over, here are some of the things that have become part of our routine.

Cleaning
Oh, how I hate to clean. I love a clean house, but I have 5 people that I swear go behind me and undo the cleaning I've done. I'll admit that dusting was the big thing I wouldn't do if I didn't feel like it. I tried to keep clean clothes and dishes and keep things picked up. But with lead paint on the outside of the house, I HAVE to dust. Twice a week, I take a wet cloth and wipe down all the window sills. I wet mop the floor twice a week. Once a week I wipe down the walls around the windows. It probably doesn't sound like much work, but we have 16 large windows. And no carpeting. It takes me awhile and I hate every minute of it.

Research
I've spent a lot of time looking into various aspects of this lead fiasco. I'm in contact with the lead inspector, the health department, I've talked with the State Lead Program contact, the EPA Regional lead contact, the head of Lead Safe State. We've also had multiple contractors out to the house to get estimates...2 of which have declined to do the work for us, if that gives you any indication as to what kind of mess this is :( I've also been looking for different ways to fund this small little project we are required to do. I bought a lottery ticket this week, hoping to cash in that big jackpot, but unfortunately my ticket wasn't the winner I was sure it was. In April, there is a lead meeting and at that point the Lead Safe State head will know if there will be any funding to help with lead abatement. We applied for a home equity loan that really was a waste of time, but maybe, just maybe I'll be surprised. I did find that there is a type of loan called a Title 1 FHA home improvement loan. There is one bank in our area that is approved to handle this type of loan. The only problem is the maximum amount you can get is $25K so we'd still have to get a personal loan for the additional $11K that we need. We could try to refinance our house and depending on the house appraisal amount, request that amount instead of just what we owe and use that to help fund the repairs, although I doubt that the house is worth $36K more than what we owe. Another option is to try to finance through larger siding and window companies. For now, we're waiting to hear from the credit union. Sometime next week we'll know something, but considering there is no equity in the house yet, I'm not hopeful.

Letter Writing
This is something I have been working on. I've sent a few letters of to the health dept and lead heads, but now my new tactic is to write to our congressmen. If I have to, I'll write a letter to the President of the United States. I'm trying to get my thoughts together so I sound like an intelligent, well-informed individual. The last thing I need is to receive yet another copy of Lead in Your Home: A Parent's Reference Guide. I want to make sure these people do understand that I am completely aware of the hazards of lead paint and it's implications for growth and development. I don't need a lecture on it's hazards. What I want to convey to them is that if they are going to require a family to do something that costs this much money, there needs to be something to help with the cost, whether it's a grant, or some type of loan.

Stress
OMG, the stress. I've been stressed before, but this is unreal. The lead is there. But the fact that only 1 of the kids had a high level says something. Even with my poor housekeeping skills, I've managed to keep the hazard minimal. With the exception of that paint chip that Caleb ate. The honest truth is this: for us anyway, if I had been a better housekeeper and cleaned up those paint chips, we wouldn't be here. It isn't the lead dust that poisoned Caleb, it was those damn paint chips from the door jambs. On one hand, the lead is still there on the outside of the house so it needs to be taken care of, but on the other, I just don't know how it will get done. When we do figure out how to fund this, we will be out of our house for the duration of the work. Hopefully, it won't take too long, but this won't be a quick 1-2 day job to replace 16 windows, put siding up over our large house, and encapsulate parts of the porch. We are a busy family: Husband works full-time, I work full time, and 3 of our 4 kids are playing summer league baseball...3 different age groups. That's one aspect of this adventure I'm not going to try to fix until we know when the work will be done.

We're trying to have a good attitude. The contractor we like so far explained that there will be yellow caution tape put up around our property, with signage that tells people to stay out of the work area. I feel like we're living in a condemned house. It will look awesome, like the old houses I dream about ours looking like once it's done. We will take pictures of the progress, just so maybe we can look back on this and laugh someday.